The Look: Towson’s biggest fashion mishaps

A recent letter to the editor titled “When did North Face jackets become Towson’s official uniform?” got me thinking about some of the groupthink on-campus trends I’ve noticed this winter.

Despite the fact that many of our parents are being laid off left and right, almost every girl on campus can be seen sporting The North Face Women’s Denali Jacket, which on The North Face Web site runs at $165. Pretty pricey for Polartec fleece.

What confuses me about the Denali’s popularity, however, isn’t the fact that so many girls are willing to shell out almost 200 bucks to own the new “in” jacket. What confuses me is their choice in brand name.

Just read the details on the jacket listed on The North Face Web site: “A favorite among outdoor enthusiasts, the Denali Jacket offers straight-forward comfort and warmth in cold weather excursions.”

Ladies, we live in central Maryland.

I’d hardly call trekking to P-tux in that ice storm we had earlier in the semester a “cold weather excursion.”

The true fashion crime being committed isn’t the use of the Denali in place of a winter coat (I hear they are actually much warmer than they appear).

The outfit combination that a surprising majority of the women on campus seem to wear on a regular basis is what makes me cringe.

I submit the revised Towson University uniform for the female population: A North Face Denali Jacket, a black tights and a pair of Ugg boots.

For the ideal winter outfit, I see several flaws in its design.

Flaw one: the black tights are worn in place of pants.

Apart from the risk of what can only be described as “wicked camel toe,” tights used in place of pants can be used to effectively compliment a mini-dress or any article of clothing that reaches well past one’s genital region.

Because the Denali lies just above the crotch, this rule does not apply.

Even though the Denali offers both “comfort and warmth,” winter is not the best season to forgo pants.

Even though your torso and feet may remain warm in fleece and fur, nothing is going to be warming the most exposed part of your body.

Flaw two: no matter what your body type, this outfit does nothing to flatter it.

The Denali is neither form-fitting nor loose and wavy.

For the upper half of your body, it compliments little more than a hoodie or sweatshirt would.

The black tights leave nothing to the imagination, as they hug every inch of the calf and thigh.

And I don’t think anyone really needs another reason to hate Uggs.

And lastly, flaw three: you look absolutely ridiculous.

What makes a lasting style is its versatility.

Scarves have become so popular because of the variety of colors, patterns, styles and ways to wear them.

Layers can be worn by multiple girls on campus everyday because accessories can be used to give a plain outfit originality.

The North Face Denali Jacket, black tights and a pair of Uggboots, no matter if you change the color of the jacket or tights or the design of the boots, will remain unoriginal, unproductive and unforgivable by fashionable society.